Trauma

Remind me of the child that I was

when the wind just meant air

with nothing more but oxygen that we breathe

and an urge to do something great;

a long list of big dreams.

Take me back to those corny days

when I got cornered by the witches

for being admired for my big brown eyes

that they couldn’t accept;

making me question my worth,

ended up bullying,

Remind me of how hard it was

to overcome the loss of my friends

who turned out to be nothing

but random people shattering me

like a glass as if I wasn’t a mirror

to show them their reality.

Remind me of that young girl

who was traumatized by judgments and

felt misunderstood in the huge crowds,

trying to figure out an escape

and leave everything behind.

Cut to the amazing person

that I forgot I have always been,

who now stands tall and straight

with her eyes on the prize

and the crown on her head

with nothing but victory on her mind.

Peace.

When the chaos of life overshadows me with the pain and misery,

I know there’s one person I can turn to in a blink.

Dreams tend to become the reality; I know

But who knew,

the reality would just get better than my dreams?

I imagined a life of calm and peace for me

And nothing short have I now recieved.

It’s not a fairytale.

Not some other disney princess crying for a prince.

Just a girl with an immense love for a guy

who never fails to treat her like a Queen.

My world has shattered into a millions pieces before

But I picked them up to become the new me.

Growth is about loving yourself,

But also to let others be there for you when you are in need.

I pushed people away for the sake of my sanity

But I realised; it wasn’t all about the crowd,

but my inner self who had lost the will to BE.

All this time, I wasted on loving others;

I forgot about the ones who were in love with me.

But I end this pattern now

and let him stand right next to me.

I see why nothing worked with others.

Why I wondered if I’ll ever get back what I give.

To be in love is all about staying with him

for better or for worse.

Tell me love,

Are you too at peace ?

Comfort.

So many stories to tell.

So much to write about.

Numerous situations,

just couldn’t get myself out.

Broken stars

craving embrace of the dark.

People begging

for the sake of their heart.

Countless people I met,

a few I pushed away

while others straight-away left.

Somehow,

I find myself

keeping my thoughts inside.

I wonder why,

knowing myself feels

way more comforting

than someone else claiming

they’ve been aware

all this while.

Heal.

And the pain suddenly faded away

with the words giving relief to my heart,

silent. But loud.

The wounds that I dreaded all day

have healed my bruised body;

immensely safe and sound.

The blood dripping down my face,

have now vanished away with the rhymes

that I kept chanting around.

The heartache which

once kept me awake,

now allows me to sleep;

deep & profound.

The unbearable emotions have now escaped

that were once confined in cages

and relentlessly bound.

The voices that I’ve always avoided

like the summer time sun rays

have become regular melodious sounds.

The peace that I would usually crave,

finally,

found me in a serene arena,

far, far away

from the erratic crowd.

Blessed to have been lost & played

for this was the ultimate way;

my origin was actually meant to be found.

Forget Depression. Do your work!

I know! I know! Forgetting Depression? It’s easier said than done.

However, I’m not giving out any advice to forget it, but to act in disguise.

It is a well-known fact that thousands of people suffer from depression on a daily basis, but are too afraid to talk about it.

It takes away their enthusiasm and willingness to carry out day to day chores, pushing them harder into the pitfall of self-destruction.

Let’s see.

You are assigned a task at your work, or school, with a certain deadline, but you just can’t gather the energy or courage to start it.

Why? Because you think you are not capable enough to do it.

Well! Here are 4 easy ways to jump off your comfy bed right now to the worktable and complete the task you’ve been procrastinating about.

1. Stop Self-loathing

Before you even start with the negative self-talk, please stop!

Think about it – the person who gave you the task wouldn’t have assigned it to you if they didn’t confide in your potential.

It’s okay if you take longer than others to do something easy.

It’s okay if you feel down and need some time to relax. Take it. But don’t bash yourself for something you have no control over.

Accept that you are depressed and need to work hand in hand with it and get a hold on your life.

Keep yourself motivated.

2. Speculate the Setback

Look out for the obstacles in your way.

What could possibly make you run away from doing your work? Less time? Or unawareness about the task?

In most cases, you love the job. But the only major setback in this case is YOU – Your excuses. Your issues. Your procrastination.

Depression makes you want to run in circles meanwhile waiting for someone to stop you and hand you a glass of beer. It’s complicated.

Don’t let your setbacks make you forget why you started.

3. Divide and Rule

Break down the big task into smaller ones and accomplish them one by one at a time.

Suppose, you have an assignment for work, which is about 10 pages, but you are too depressed to even start.

What you can do is, write one page on Introduction first, then treat yourself for accomplishing it.

This will not only provide you with a sense of accomplishment, but also make it more fun.

Who says you must finish it in one go?

Do as you please, with your own pace, because that’s what makes you – YOU. But make sure to complete it before the deadline.

Give yourself enough credit for trying.

4. Remember the Outcome

Never start anything without considering the results.

What if completing the assignment makes you feel content in the end? Or completing the project brings you one step closer to your promotion or big raise?

You’ll work harder to achieve these results, won’t you?

Always remember that there are people dying out there to get the opportunity that comes free to you. Please appreciate it and give your best.

To sum up –

Just be yourself. Understand your reasons for the unwillingness to perform. Work on them while taking short breaks, if needed. Plus, don’t forget the amazing rewards.

I hope you pick yourself up before falling into the darkness instead of waiting around for someone else to do it.

So, go on and START! 🙂

10 signs of a Depressed Person.

In my previous post, I talked about Depression, and how the mindset of an Individual works when he/she is most likely to become a prey of depression.

I apologize for using the term ‘depressed people’ like they are any different, but I had to be more specific. I hope you understand. 🙂

I would highly recommend you to read that before we can talk about the possible symptoms.

Even though it is quite difficult to comprehend what goes inside the mind of a person, there are a few signs that can help you assess if someone is on the verge of slipping into depression or already trapped.

1. Excessive Sleep

A person suffering from depression will sleep all day long, or at least pretend to be asleep to avoid interactions.

They are addicted to their alone time, lying in their bed, with windows and curtains shut, earphones plugged in , and listening to Changes by XXXTentacion or some other sad songs.

They might tell you that they feel peaceful while listening to this music, but you must be aware that these songs are just pulling them more into the black hole of depression.

2. Sleep Deprived

Depression takes away the ability of people to relax and have a good night’s sleep.

They are up all night, wondering what went wrong, why they aren’t good enough, and what not. Night-time is the most active time of their life.

Being an insomniac doesn’t validate your depression. But if you voluntarily stay awake to think about what happened with you 2 years back at a public event, it is a major reason of concern.

3. Staying Indoors

There is no better comfort like home. Avoiding social gatherings and public events is completely fine.

However, procrastinating about meeting friends and family is not okay. Because if their loved ones aren’t aware of their situation, they’ll probably end up stuck in the deep pitfall. And no one can save them.

There can be two reasons why they don’t talk to or visit their friends –

Unwillingness to face their loved ones, to avoid bothering them for their personal concerns.

Inability to explain their pain, because they themselves don’t understand how they feel.

If you are introverted soul who loves to stay back home just to spend some quality time with yourself, like me, you are not depressed. It’s healthy.

4. Frustration

Short-tempered people are more likely to be undergoing a turmoil of emotions.

I understand, if this is a part of your personality or zodiac sign, but talking back or yelling at your friends, or family to be specific is just not an excuse to say “I’m like this, I can’t change”.

Their tolerance power keeps deteriorating with time. They can see themselves hurting their loved ones, which ultimately digs a deeper wound in their own hearts because they can’t do anything about it.

So, they end up pushing their closed ones away.

5. Overthinking

We all are over-thinkers, voluntarily keeping ourselves busy in unproductive self-talk and issues.

But at some point of time, we have to stop ourselves from thinking too much about the past or the future because it ultimately ends in self-doubt.

If you are capable of standing your ground for not going out to parties, or not sleeping at night, then you might as well try to overthink productivelythink in excess, but only about things that can help you grow.

6. Anxiety

When we read the word ‘Anxiety’, our immediate thought process goes into the time when we first attempted public speaking.

Well, that is nervousness – a sudden rush of emotions when you are extremely scared of the consequences of an event whereas anxiety is the physical trauma one goes through as a result of unwanted stress.

Anxiety is a whole another issue that needs an in-depth understanding of the reasons why a person feels this way. A person turns toxic, and his/her inability to comprehend the situation leads to personal trauma and self-doubt.

7. Criticism

At one point or other in our lives, we all have witnessed ourselves in this scenario, and we have hated it.

Always saying mean things to people who want nothing but good for us is one of the most wicked things that comes out of depression, which brutally damages the respect that they have for themselves, because they fail to find the courage to apologize.

Such people have a million of inner insecurities that make them question every positive thing that happens to them, just to turn it into a bubble.

8. Lack of Confidence

There are some people who allude confidence like it’s no big deal, while others have a little (OK, a lot) of trouble putting their feet on the ground.

And it’s completely fine because we all are getting to know ourselves, which is opposite of what people in depression do.

They have a fixed mindset that nothing can be changed, which is okay because if they could change it, they would. But the point is – their confidence level drops because no one tries to level it up.

9. Always tired

People tend to be exhausted when they’ve been a part of some heavy physical activity or a stressful day at work or school.

However, some people are tired, without any specific reason. Their ultimate excuse for not smiling or talking is “I’m tired, please don’t talk to me right now.”

In reality, they are tired of themselves feeling this void, extremely sick of fading out in the crowd that they avoid interactions altogether.

10. Complex Appetite

Last but not the least, the food intake suggests a lot about how a person is feeling.

Sometimes, a person doesn’t eat much because he/she doesn’t feel like eating, but the fact is that food is our basic need and if someone refuses to eat then there must be a solid reason behind it.

Overeating, not eating anything, sudden lose/gain in weight are the only visible signs that can help us identify if a person is in need of help.

Conclusion

Humans are complicated but they always leave a few hints to see if someone cares enough to pay attention. If you care about the people in your life, please try to observe these signs in them.

If you find anything odd in their behavior, please try having a conversation with them ASAP. Your one act of kindness can save a person from failing in their own eyes.

If you or someone close to you is suffering from depression, or feeling low – Reach out to me at myserenewords@gmail.com.

I’d be happy to help.

Stay Tuned.