Disguise.

But here, only death surrounds. Wound

A new life awaits the dead.

Crumbled bones; loosened hopes,

Shaking and taking my breath.

The silence of the graveyard,

curtailing the beauty of the wreath.

Look into the grave,

See how far you’ve come; he said.

But here, only death surrounds.

Wounded and shattered souls all around.

“Can I stay with you tonight?

I’d rather be dead than alive.”

Alluring, as it may seem;

You’d want to live here forever.

For no one here feels, cries or talk.

No one here hurts, lies or mock.

But go astray.

Leave as soon as you can.

Because all this time I’ve lived here,

I’ve realized;

Sometimes, feeling broken is

way better than feeling nothing.

10 signs of a Depressed Person.

In my previous post, I talked about Depression, and how the mindset of an Individual works when he/she is most likely to become a prey of depression.

I apologize for using the term ‘depressed people’ like they are any different, but I had to be more specific. I hope you understand. 🙂

I would highly recommend you to read that before we can talk about the possible symptoms.

Even though it is quite difficult to comprehend what goes inside the mind of a person, there are a few signs that can help you assess if someone is on the verge of slipping into depression or already trapped.

1. Excessive Sleep

A person suffering from depression will sleep all day long, or at least pretend to be asleep to avoid interactions.

They are addicted to their alone time, lying in their bed, with windows and curtains shut, earphones plugged in , and listening to Changes by XXXTentacion or some other sad songs.

They might tell you that they feel peaceful while listening to this music, but you must be aware that these songs are just pulling them more into the black hole of depression.

2. Sleep Deprived

Depression takes away the ability of people to relax and have a good night’s sleep.

They are up all night, wondering what went wrong, why they aren’t good enough, and what not. Night-time is the most active time of their life.

Being an insomniac doesn’t validate your depression. But if you voluntarily stay awake to think about what happened with you 2 years back at a public event, it is a major reason of concern.

3. Staying Indoors

There is no better comfort like home. Avoiding social gatherings and public events is completely fine.

However, procrastinating about meeting friends and family is not okay. Because if their loved ones aren’t aware of their situation, they’ll probably end up stuck in the deep pitfall. And no one can save them.

There can be two reasons why they don’t talk to or visit their friends –

Unwillingness to face their loved ones, to avoid bothering them for their personal concerns.

Inability to explain their pain, because they themselves don’t understand how they feel.

If you are introverted soul who loves to stay back home just to spend some quality time with yourself, like me, you are not depressed. It’s healthy.

4. Frustration

Short-tempered people are more likely to be undergoing a turmoil of emotions.

I understand, if this is a part of your personality or zodiac sign, but talking back or yelling at your friends, or family to be specific is just not an excuse to say “I’m like this, I can’t change”.

Their tolerance power keeps deteriorating with time. They can see themselves hurting their loved ones, which ultimately digs a deeper wound in their own hearts because they can’t do anything about it.

So, they end up pushing their closed ones away.

5. Overthinking

We all are over-thinkers, voluntarily keeping ourselves busy in unproductive self-talk and issues.

But at some point of time, we have to stop ourselves from thinking too much about the past or the future because it ultimately ends in self-doubt.

If you are capable of standing your ground for not going out to parties, or not sleeping at night, then you might as well try to overthink productivelythink in excess, but only about things that can help you grow.

6. Anxiety

When we read the word ‘Anxiety’, our immediate thought process goes into the time when we first attempted public speaking.

Well, that is nervousness – a sudden rush of emotions when you are extremely scared of the consequences of an event whereas anxiety is the physical trauma one goes through as a result of unwanted stress.

Anxiety is a whole another issue that needs an in-depth understanding of the reasons why a person feels this way. A person turns toxic, and his/her inability to comprehend the situation leads to personal trauma and self-doubt.

7. Criticism

At one point or other in our lives, we all have witnessed ourselves in this scenario, and we have hated it.

Always saying mean things to people who want nothing but good for us is one of the most wicked things that comes out of depression, which brutally damages the respect that they have for themselves, because they fail to find the courage to apologize.

Such people have a million of inner insecurities that make them question every positive thing that happens to them, just to turn it into a bubble.

8. Lack of Confidence

There are some people who allude confidence like it’s no big deal, while others have a little (OK, a lot) of trouble putting their feet on the ground.

And it’s completely fine because we all are getting to know ourselves, which is opposite of what people in depression do.

They have a fixed mindset that nothing can be changed, which is okay because if they could change it, they would. But the point is – their confidence level drops because no one tries to level it up.

9. Always tired

People tend to be exhausted when they’ve been a part of some heavy physical activity or a stressful day at work or school.

However, some people are tired, without any specific reason. Their ultimate excuse for not smiling or talking is “I’m tired, please don’t talk to me right now.”

In reality, they are tired of themselves feeling this void, extremely sick of fading out in the crowd that they avoid interactions altogether.

10. Complex Appetite

Last but not the least, the food intake suggests a lot about how a person is feeling.

Sometimes, a person doesn’t eat much because he/she doesn’t feel like eating, but the fact is that food is our basic need and if someone refuses to eat then there must be a solid reason behind it.

Overeating, not eating anything, sudden lose/gain in weight are the only visible signs that can help us identify if a person is in need of help.

Conclusion

Humans are complicated but they always leave a few hints to see if someone cares enough to pay attention. If you care about the people in your life, please try to observe these signs in them.

If you find anything odd in their behavior, please try having a conversation with them ASAP. Your one act of kindness can save a person from failing in their own eyes.

If you or someone close to you is suffering from depression, or feeling low – Reach out to me at myserenewords@gmail.com.

I’d be happy to help.

Stay Tuned.

Dealing With Depression.

Hello beautiful people.

Before you start reading, I must tell you that this would’ve been a long post, so I split it into small parts for you to get a clear picture and an in-depth knowledge of what we’re talking about here.

All I want is to share everything that I know about depression and how to deal with it.

Please read, share and save a life.

The more we try to avoid talking about it, the more it gets into our head. I’ve seen people on the peak of their careers who failed to overcome depression and ended up committing suicide.

I’ve always written about self-love when I should have been writing about the reasons why it is so difficult for people to fall in love themselves. And depression is one of the most disturbing and vicious of all.

It’s been quite a long time that I’ve been talking to people about what’s bothering them, and there are a few things that are common for all.

Before I dig deep into those things, let me start off by explaining the real meaning of depression, and the mindset of an individual having suicidal thoughts.

What is Depression?

I’ve read a share of articles that describe depression as a feeling of loss and fear. Some of them stated depression as an emotional disorder. However, it is much more than just a condition of mood swings.

We’ve all been there, but we made it out of the pitfall whereas some couldn’t. So, it’s our responsibility to help them out.

It starts with “I’m not good enough” and ends up in taking up our lives. If you see these signs in someone, please ask them to reach out for help.

I’ve had enough conversations with people suffering from self-doubt, who were not at all willing to talk it out as they believed that people would judge them or will make fun of them. Honestly, I don’t blame them for thinking this way.

There must be a reason why they feel like being attacked for expressing their feelings, which is heartbreaking.

No one is born with depression. It’s this fucked up society that has made them question their worth.

The point is that it is more about the people surrounding the depressed person, rather than someone who is suffering. We are so self-involved that we often forget to ask our near and dear ones about their emotions.

We are extremely busy in our lives, I know, but what about the people we love who have no one except you to talk to? If we’re not there for them, who will?

If you want to help someone, the first thing you need to understand is the thoughts that go through their mind, which I’ll be talking about now.

Mindset of a Depressed Person

When someone seems overly complicated, lost and seeks an answer for their overthinking and questions, that person is going into depression. It is more than just feeling sad over a breakup.

Their world is constantly sinking. They are more prone to living in the dark than go out for a walk. Even if they go out with friends, the moment they re-enter their home/room, their world starts falling apart.

They have had pretty bad experiences, which made them less trusting and silent. They’ve spent countless days questioning their worth and nights crying over why they aren’t good enough.

They have no clue why they’re feeling such emotions, so please don’t tell them that “It will be fine” because it’s easier said than done for them.

One moment they are over the top, feeling life, and the other second, their whole world comes crashing down. All they want to do is stuff their heads into their pillow and cry out.

Merely telling them to “Stay calm”, “Everything will be alright” or “Have faith in God” does not help, at all.

They don’t need solutions to overcome this feeling, but a trustworthy person who could just listen to what they have to say, without any judgments.

Please be this person for them 🙂

Writing about this was so damn important to me, because I can’t see my closed ones or their loved ones suffer due to something that isn’t even their fault in the first place.

A single thought of losing my family members or friends because of depression, scares me to death and almost had me in tears.

Please ask your friends, siblings and even your parents if something’s bothering them.

Don’t think about it as a difficult conversation but something that would save time and endless emotional devoid of your loved ones.

Look out for these signs.

Sometimes, people don’t feel like talking to their friends or families about their real emotions due to the fear of coming out as over dramatic, clingy or being a pile-on.

People suffering from depression are the kindest human beings. They’ve been through so much, but they won’t let their emotions ruin your day, which is why they don’t express their emotions to you.

So, they turn to strangers. And I request you to be a kind and loving stranger for them to talk to.

Be there for them, or just redirect them to people who can help.

If you or someone close to you is suffering from depression or having suicidal thoughts, please contact me on myserenewords@gmail.com for a conversation.

I’d be happy to help.

Stay tuned.

13 Breathtaking Sky Images of India.

Well, hello there!

Before you go through the pictures, I would like to protect my integrity by saying that I’m not an actual photographer.

If you’re wondering why I added this blog in the writer’s essence, let me answer you.

As a writer, our main aim is to write what we feel, what we see, and what we can possibly think of. Being a Nature Lover, I look for inspiration in the lifeless things filled with a vibe that can’t be named.

I’m just an admirer of Sky in different colors. I’ve been quite homesick lately as I’m miles away from my family.

So, I decided to reminisce the old times by sharing a few images that always take me back home where I spent most of my evenings on the rooftop, gazing at the stars, feeling the cold breeze, scanning the sky, and observing my love — Moon.

I love to capture the beauty of nature as it is a soul therapy for me. It brings me peace. And I hope you feel the same.

PS- All the images are clicked from the rooftop of my house except Image 6 and Image 9.

Okay, now you can see. 😶

Image 1.

An angry dragon shooting fire.

Image 2.

Dreamy cloud.

Image 3.

A possible mirage of horizon.

Image 4.

The Sun lost in the clouds.

Image 5.

Oh! The colours.

Image 6.

My favorite from Himachal Pradesh, India.

Image 7.

Fascinated by the Pastels.

Image 8.

Fire broke out in the sky.

Image 9.

Evening.

Image 10.

Moon is my companion, my love. Forever.

Image 11.

A cotton eruption.

Image 12.

The sunset on a cloudy day.

Image 13.

Breaking through the obstacles – The Sun.

I hope these Images brought a much-needed peace of mind to you, as it did to me.

I’d like to conclude this post by quoting

There is no real beauty more exotic than that of the Mother Nature.

Thank you.

I will post more of these soon. 🙂

Keep observing

Life and Death.

With my heart

keeping all the words inside,

And my mind

making me believe in disguise;

There’s this part of me;

trying to reach out to you.

Running, crawling, falling;

flying in the wide open sky,

in pursuit of a way to get to you.

And then,

there’s the other;

holding my head high enough

to stare at the Sun in its eyes.

I wonder if I’ve ever let you know;

my feelings for you

were so true and pure.

Mesmerized yet traumatized by love,

misery, your eternal rest

and the breaking ties.

Engulfed by my own thoughts and surmise,

I hereby surrender myself

To the fundamentals of being alive.

Reflection.

Hey.

Where were you?

I’ve been waiting for you the whole day.

Sitting in the corner of a dark room,

I kept searching for you.

To talk to you

about how my day went.

To walk with you

in these empty rooms.

To share stories

about the people in my head.

To reveal

my deepest secrets and fears.

To lay next to you

when I’m scared of the demons under my bed.

To accept you

when nobody else is ready to.

To appreciate you

when you feel worthless and upset.

To help you survive

your worst battles.

To make you love your nightmares instead.

To tell you that I love you the most.

To express,

how badly I’ve been missing you.

Are you listening?

Hey?

I’m talking to you.

Yes! YOU.

The beautiful being in the mirror.

Revenge.

I see you playing games

with my already frustrated mind.

I can not help but wonder

if you are still the same guy

who made me believe in love

and that we’d build a wonderful life.

The song you used to play

to praise my eyes and smile

has suddenly vanished away

for I haven’t heard it in a while.

Well, I guess,

now the melodies have changed

and your words have lost their rhyme.

Your heart might be the purest of all,

and your good deeds might be infinite.

But I think you aren’t aware;

breaking beautiful hearts can cost you

an irrecoverable loss for a lifetime.

Surprisingly,

I still don’t wish any ill for you,

for I’ve loved having you by my side.

Even though

my words may seem harsh sometimes,

I would never want you to feel lost

like a raindrop in an overcast sky.

Go on, and have your dreams fulfilled;

the ones you’ve always talked about

for revenge isn’t my thing, love.

I’ll see you grow with the love of your life

while I love myself enough

for not needing a love that was never mine.

Hurt.

You pulled me closer to your chest,

I could hear my heart beats going wild.

I was so in love with you,

couldn’t help but ignore all the negative signs.

I remember that dark cold evening

when our hands were intertwined.

You whispered those three magical words

while looking straight in my eyes.

The Sun had set a long ago.

It was past midnight

when I felt you breathing next to me

and your lips caressing mine.

Your fingers stroked the hair on my face.

Damn! I was rising above cloud nine.

Everything felt beautiful,

like a little earthen lamp

who had discovered its long lost light.

Until the day

these wonderful dreams

turned into horrible nightmares

when you started deceiving my sight.

You uttered all the right phrases

but your actions proved otherwise.

You put words in my mouth

when I wanted to stay quiet.

You caused me misery and pain

while claiming I was one of a kind.

I was yours to keep and love

but behind the caged bars,

I felt confined.

Boy! I was hurting,

still made you believe you can fly.

And you paid me back with nothing

but a permanent scar inside.

Now that I’ve let you go,

I hope you are doing alright.

But one thing I can assure you of –

seeing the woman who loved you for real

walk away half bruised and tainted

because of your inadequacy to hold on to her,

will haunt you for life.

Cheers.

Here’s to the poetry

that is written for one,

recited for another,

given meaning by the third.

Here’s to the words

that make me rejoice

while i stay awake and wonder

if you ever cared enough

for me to open the gate

to free the bird.

Here’s to the poetry –

that beautiful shade in the rain,

my only source of joy

with the breathtaking thunder.

Here’s to the words

that dig deeper than the wounds

and sprout the flowers

of love and freedom

making me feel less like a blunder.

Here’s to the poetry

that instilled life in the remains

of a carcass fading away

making me believe in

the power of my pain

and my soul getting younger.

Here’s to ME

for giving out a piece of myself

every time I share my words,

my poetry – my children

for the love of my grace.

So thankful for the wonderful escape,

I give in. I surrender.

Toxic.

You told her that you loved her,

but you left her stranded in the pain

when she needed you the most.

She begged you to stay,

but she was left shattered on the floor,

with tears streaming down her face;

suffocated by a crowd of people

that she’s always despised.

You told her to go,

aware of her ‘Never Give Up’ trait,

because you were less bothered

if she could ever consider the bait.

It might have satisfied your ego,

for she kept coming back for more.

Not because she lacked self-respect.

But because she’s a woman to believe

in the love she possesses

to calm the beast inside your bod.

You should have loved her

for everything she had to offer,

instead you turned her cold

just like your records.

Her heart filled with all the warmth,

millions would have died for,

that she was ready to give away

just like that,

only for your sake.

She was always there,

when you needed comfort and care.

Not because she couldn’t find someone else

but because she believed in her power

to ignite the negligible amount of good in you.

You made her question her worth.

You made her panic and cry

when all she wanted was

to see you happy, and all in smiles.

You broke her down,

every now and then.

She was afraid of turning toxic

because of your poison,

which was good enough reason

for her to walk away.

And now,

As she strolls in the thoroughfare,

she thanks you for the love you never gave.

Because you couldn’t see her worth

but she believed in the love she deserved.

So, don’t call her up

with your shattered ego,

for your pleasure in the dark,

or for her love that you let go.

Because she acknowledged the Queen within

who has fallen for her own soul

more than she ever did for your rotten corpse.